Gourmet Lady Blog

A few days ago, my lifelong friend Thea passed away.  And so today, I sit down with a cup of tea, a sad heart, and box of Kleenex to write about her.  I used the word friend, but in reality she was family in every sense of the word.  I cannot remember not knowing her.  My parents hired her to baby-sit me and my sister. I was a baby, my favorite sister Kristi was 2, and Thea was a high school senior.

At some point in my childhood, Thea began the custom of taking me out somewhere special on my birthday.  She’d give me choices like Ace’s Pizza or Zepeda’s Mexican Restaurant.  Sometimes the mere fact that the restaurants were unfamiliar made them seem terribly exotic and mysterious.

Over time, Thea became part of family birthday parties, holidays, church events, and so many of the days we pass in ordinary time.  Our aunts, uncles, cousins, friends and neighbors knew her too.  Just as she became part of our family, we became part of hers.  Thea’s mother, Letha, became part of a group of ladies my mother chauffeured around regularly to doctor appointments, church, shopping, and lunches out.  Thea married Hugh and they were favorite guests and hosts of many a dinner party.  Thea’s sister Reva is a member at my mom’s church, and so I get to see her regularly and her children & grandchildren on occasion.

At some point in our grownup lives, Thea and Kristi and I started going to afternoon tea in San Francisco.  We’d meet at the Sheraton Palace, the Ritz Carlton, or somewhere festive.  We’d all get dressed up and arrive with little gift bags for each other and have a good visit.  When I go on vacation, I take with me a fancy needlework jewelry container that Thea made.  Unpacking my Christmas dishes every year, I find a special holiday mug she gave me and always think of her while drinking hot chocolate.

Thea was a person you could always rely on -- good at the core, loyal, hard working, and consistent.  Thoughtful in sending cards for every occasion, she would only sign the words “Love, Thea” and never wrote any note.  But in the last birthday card she sent me, she broke with tradition and wrote a note which read, “How come we never hear from the Gourmet Lady anymore?”  My lack of recent Gourmet Lady newsletters had annoyed her.  A constant supporter of all of my endeavors, she was one of my first Gourmet Lady customers, ordering goodies for afternoon tea.

One of Thea’s strongest traits was that she was incredibly organized.  She was a fierce planner.  My sister had called her once on New Years day and Thea was setting up her files for the year.  Her office was always in perfect order and she never missed a deadline.  I once joked that you could look up the word “organized” in the dictionary and find the words “see Thea.”  You know for certain her spices were alphabetized.

Learning of her death on Monday night, Tuesday loomed in front of me as a day of grieving.  I decided to honor the spirit of Thea by getting organized.  I made a plan to reorganize my office more efficiently.  I moved furniture around, put things in categories, made neat files.  Stepping back to admire it, it occurs to me that Thea sure had the right idea.  I cooked comfort food and watched a sad movie. 

It is Thanksgiving Day today, and Thea had planned to be at my family’s gathering in Blue Lake, California.  She’d already bought a new outfit and new shoes for the occasion, her husband Hugh told us. 

I mourn the loss of someone very dear.  Today while we pause to acknowledge what we are thankful for, first on my list is -- I am thankful that Thea was my friend.